From tube socks to T-shirts, a look at our go-to “Sex-Fits”
“Outfits for sex” may sound like an oxymoronic clause — being that sex typically occurs, well, in the nude. But fashion is hardly a matter of practicality, no matter the activity in question. And intercourse is no exception.
Listen, we’re not anti-naked-sex. The birthday suit has its own sartorial merit. But for all the pleasure of nudity, there’s also a distinct delight to donning a particular ‘fit in bed. Maybe you feel your sexiest in briefs and a T-shirt. Maybe you have a kink for leaving your shoes on. Maybe you love a good ‘ol lingerie set, corset and all. There’s no formula here; this is a matter of taste.
That said, there are themes at play. Even with all the stylistic diversity to sex-fits gracing bedrooms and backseats across the nation, there are, in fact, some repeat offenders — “looks” that recur reliably across the sexual universe. So, in celebration of sartorial sexuality, we’ve rounded up the 5 most common outfits for intercourse, and in turn, what they say about their wearers. Think of this as fornication fashion.
While the nude-but-for-socks bit might strike you as a comedic shtick, you’d be surprised by how common this is. The textbook look calls for a classic white mid-calf tube sock. And, well, that’s it.
There are a number of plausible motivations for this look. Perhaps your partner undressed you but declined to touch your feet. Perhaps you’re an offender in the podiatric odor department, and you’re deeply self-conscious. Perhaps the socks were merely overlooked in the rush to disrobe. All the same, there’s a certain delicacy here. It says, “I’m willing to be vulnerable with you, but I’ll spare you my toe nails.”
Nearly as classic as the tube sock moment is your standard (or not so standard) lingerie. Be it a body suit, a corset, a matching bra-thong combo, a garter, lingerie has long reigned supreme as the predominant sex-fit. And for good reason: It’s scandalous, complicated, flattering, either simple or relatively difficult to maneuver (but purposefully so).
The ethos behind this look is intentionality. We’re not playing it cool here, we got dressed for intercourse. Lingerie is all about having clothed yourself purely for the sake of arousing your partner (and, of course, yourself). There is no “chill” involved, per se, and that’s a powerful decision.
Alt option: For those reluctant to veer into this kind of undergarment maximalism, opt for a matching Calvin Klein set, instead. Still loaded with intention, but…understated.
For the girl on the go: A ‘fit that allows for getting it on without actually demanding the removal of any clothing at all. Whether you’re boning in your own bedroom, in the bathroom of an Italian restaurant, or in the broom closet at a friends’ kids’ birthday party, this is the ‘fit that allows for streamlined ASAP intercourse.
Truthfully, it doesn’t matter if you’re actually on the go, the get-up still has its merits when it comes to absolutely instant fornication.
The Cotton T-Shirt
For men and women alike, there’s an inherent sex appeal to your standard, classic cotton T-shirt. It’s comfortable and casual, it requires no undergarments, and it brilliantly complements a set of briefs or a good pair of lace underwear. In short, it’s sexy high-low. And the lazy, low maintenance appeal is oft-cited as one of the most enticing things a partner can don.
The look showcases a manner of ease around one another. Both the simplicity and the lack of intention are…hot.
Perhaps it’s an enduring loyalty to Tom Cruise or just a deep-cut affection for Madmen, but the allure of the unbuttoned oxford prevails. Your standard white dress shirt, worn more like a vest than an actual top, seems to declare, I have very important business to take care of overseas, but I’ve put everything on the line to make you orgasm. Or, you know, something like that.
There’s a slight sheen of professionalism, a bit of a rebellious undercurrent (it’s office appropriate but it’s unbuttoned), and an enticing, classic polish, here. And better yet, it works both ways. If you’ve ever watched a rom-com — or seen the cover of No Strings Attached — you can likely attest to the appeal of the pantsless Oxford. No matter the wearer, the taking care of business ethos holds true.
Originally published at https://getmaude.com.