50 euphemisms from “doing it” to “squat thrusts in the cucumber patch”

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“Sex” carries considerable meaning for a one-syllable word. But for the endless breadth of verbs that fall under the umbrella of “intercourse,” it comes as no surprise that we’ve also masterminded an impressive roster of euphemisms over the past few centuries.

Think about it: Sex has been around for time immemorial — and for just a long, we’ve been giving it clever, pithy nicknames. In fact, the first recorded use of “F*ck” as a stand-in for intercourse occurred in the year 1508 — and plenty of the other outlandish word-combinations we toss around were formulated at a similar time when public sex talk was deemed far from inappropriate. They were code words if you will. So, whether you prefer, “bone,” “bumping uglies,” or “amorous congress,” the fun, alt-sex terms within your standard lexicon come from a great, long tradition.

That said, if you’re looking to expand your traditional limits in the realm of sex synonyms, boy do we have some vocabulary words for you. With the aid of friends, colleagues, the occasional historical novel, and the World Wide Web, we’ve culled together a list of our absolute favorite sex-adjacent terms, divided into classics, one-word-wonders, food-related phrasings, and “WTF,” Use it wisely.

Classics
1. Doing it
2. Getting laid
3. Funny business
4. Making love
5. Hanky panky
6. Tapping ass
7. Shaking sheets
8. Amorous congress
9. Jumping bones
10. Knocking boots

One-Word-Wonders
11. Shagging
12. Screwing
13. Nailing
14. Boning
15. Banging
16. Doddling
17. Boinking
18. Porking
19. Yentzing
20. Tromboning
21. Shtupping

Food-Related Phrasings
22. Baking the potato
23. Buttering a biscuit
24. Putting the bread in the oven
25. Getting one’s kettle mended
26. Horizontal refreshment
27. Bam-bam in the ham
28. Planting the parsnip
29. Sending out for sushi
30. Tossing a hot dog down the hallway
31. Having your corn ground
32. Groping for trout in a peculiar river
33. Bringing an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house
34. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch

WTF
35. Bedroom rodeo
36. Basket-making
37. Doing the Devil’s dance
38. Hot yoga
39. Parallel parking
40. Rolling in the hay
41. Wetting the willy
42. Matrimonial polka
43. Bumping uglies
44. Chesterfield rugby
45. Dancing the goat’s jig
46. Two-person pushups
47. Going heels-to-Jesus
48. Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets
49. Seeing a man about a dog
50. Taking old one eye to the optometrist

Originally published at https://getmaude.com.

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A direct-to-consumer, modern sexual wellness brand, maude is on a mission to destigmatize sex through quality, simplicity, and inclusivity.

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