Digital dating, for in an age of polyamory.
Dating apps on the whole have done their due diligence when it comes to cultivating the traditional boy-meets-girl narrative. For lack of a better word, they’ve nailed algorithmic romance (or at least, intimacy). But still, there tends to remain a glaring oversight: What about boy-meets-girl-meets-girl? Girl-meets-boy-meets-boy? Girl-meets-boy-gets-married-meets-other-couple? Ethical non-monogamy et al.
Naturally, if we’re addressing the math, the numerical complications when we’re matching throuples and foursomes rather than neat, even pairs is a bit more complicated. Odd numbers. But that’s not to say that, in the midst of a digital era that’s hellbent on normalizing VR technology, we haven’t found ways to make it work.
So, on the basis of user reviews, shared testimonials, and the inner workings of our own dating app forays, we’ve rounded up the four absolute best apps for non-monogamous dating. Whether you’re a couple in pursuit of another couple, a set of partners looking for a third, a solo player looking for a threesome, or, well, name the form of ethical non monogamy-meets-polyamory that suits you best, there is, in fact, a smartphone route to intimacy.
Ok, we know this one may come as a surprise. Okcupid is typically cited among the more antiquated of digi-dating solutions. But, while it can be used in the most traditional sense, on the back end, the platform also lists an impressive number of preferences — some of which are designated specifically for non-monogamous users. Along with setting your sexuality and your relationship status, you can also select your “relationship style” and match with other users looking for the same iteration of romance.
Feeld is an easy vote for the most inclusive app out there: The app displays by far the lengthiest roster of selectable preferences we’ve seen to date when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity. While making an account, the vetting process is stringent to ensure that all users are, in fact, who they purport to be — so you can rest assured that you’ll be safe swiping through. Plus, the interface allows you to publicly link with another profile if you’re a couple in pursuit of a third partner.
Surely you’re familiar with this one. It’s the Craigslist of dating apps. While other platforms have grown to be more curated or specialized, Tinder ever remains the catch-all. It’s used as an entree to casual sex just as often as as it’s used in pursuit of more serious partnership — and for that reason, it’s a plenty valid place to pursue non-monogamy so long as you’re frank on your profile. Let it be known what your relationship status is and what it is that you’re looking for, then, in the oh-so-wide net that is Tinder’s user base, surely you’ll encounter someone interested in the same.
You may be shocked to learn that 3Somer is, in fact, an app dedicated to threesomes. But beyond just connecting trios (couples to singles, singles to couples, and triads of singles), the app’s user preferences allow you to specify your kinks and, more specifically, the role you’d like to play in the bedroom (or, well, whatever room). If you’re seasoned in the realm of threesomes, this might be a good one to try — it’ll certainly help you match with someone (plural?) whose specific interests will suit yours.