A Handy Guide To Shower Sex.

maude
3 min readSep 23, 2020

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Everything you need to know before getting it on whilst bathing.

Like with app dates and probably Timothee Chalamet, shower sex — while enormously sultry in theory — can often, umm, fall short.

Yeah, it’s hot. It’s steamy. You’re naked. Water is cascading. But alongside all the more illustrious parts of intercourse-avec-bathing, there are some minor inconveniences: It’s slippery, vaguely cramped, difficult to actually lather up (if cleaning your body was, at any point, the intention here), and it’s likely that you’ll find yourself with several unsolicited mouthfuls of lukewarm water.

Nonetheless, there is a time and a place for shower sex. And when duty calls, you must answer. So in the hopes of making your next occasion for bathroom boning as pleasurable as possible, we’ve put together a guide for the slippery when wet moments.

Skip the soap
If you’re actually in the shower to, well, shower, we highly recommend waiting until after the sex to reach for the soap. For the sake of your personal safety, you don’t want to add more slippery agents to the mix here. Plus, vying for shared water-flow whilst soaping up your armpits isn’t exactly the best way to kick off your romp.

Bolster yourself
Unlike with bedside doggy style, you may need to do a little extra work to ground yourself and keep your balance. Make a point to hold onto some (firmly attached) fixture in the tub while you’re going at it, and if need be, consider a horizontal position.

Keep that water warm
Few things are bigger boner killers (speaking in the gender neutral sens) than the cold. And shower heads can only go so far. So do your best to keep that water hot enough to steam up the whole space — leaving whoever isn’t in the shower’s central line of attack toasty and warm.

Don’t rule out oral
Penetrative sex isn’t the only way to have fun in the shower. Take turns giving kneeling oral, while one of you keeps your back to the water. This way, you’ll each get your moment to enjoy the shower pressure, and to pleasure your partner uninhibited by mouthfuls of hot water.

Get messy
By nature, the shower keeps things pretty…clean. So feel free to use your shower sex as an opportunity to indulge some of your messier modes of fornication. Use the shower for bloody period sex, lube-heavy anal, or maybe, as a smart way to compensate for all the sweat if, say, you’re boning in 90-degree-heat sans A/C.

You need not finish
The thing about shower sex is: it’s hot either way. You don’t need to carry it out to completion for it to have been a plenty worthwhile endeavor for the both of you. If it’s slippery, you’re cramping, and you’re feeling a bit water-logged, enjoy the foreplay, then towel off (or don’t) and finish elsewhere.

Originally published at https://getmaude.com.

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maude
maude

Written by maude

A direct-to-consumer, modern sexual wellness brand, maude is on a mission to destigmatize sex through quality, simplicity, and inclusivity.

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